So, i haven't been around for kind of 1 year, which is why i kind of don't know what to do or say right now ... what do people say to a friend they haven't seen or heard for so much time? It's a weird feeling, isn't it?
Do you love your friend any less when there's a little gap of time in between the two of you? does your friend love you any less, off the other hand? nobody knows, and nobody is gonna say it, right? But the first thing you do when you don't see your friends in a while is to sit down in front of a coffee and talk about the things that have been going around, which is what i'm gonna do right now, sitting on my bed, hands flowing on the keyboard and words running out of control- which is why i'm not gonna do any adjustment by the way, so take my apologies for my terrible english in advance.
When i first joined this comunity, it was because a friend of mine who studied at the fine art academy with me was really happy with deviant art, which made me curious as freak, and as soon as i joined i fell in love with this whole thing, i loved it, and i felt like i got some love in return (maybe?) so i was planning to stay on here for a very long time.
But some things have changed during the run, as i just said i was an art student, back in last year, with the haed full of dreams and fantasies of becoming a good artist, maybe be successful and make a living out of my passion, maybe by getting my stuff exposed in some fancy art gallery, or just giving my comic strips to some magazine in order to be known and start publishing my own comic books ( i know, don't judge me, i've always been a naive-day-dreamer), and what happened in reality was very different from what i was expecting. I thought that just by being in an art school i was meant to be a great artist, that i'd learn everything i needed to know, truth is that, actually, art school doesn't teach you anything less than any passionate youtuber or random artist who WANTS to SHARE experiences and knowledge with others, which most of art teacher don't, so it was quite frustrating, going ahead and still having to go on the internet to learn stuff, because some professors wouldn't talk about certain stuff or were just too protective of their "secrets". In the main time, my family was undergoing a really bad financial moment, and they were still paying taxes and bills to my art school, which made it even worst, so i just dropped out of it and many other things, including Deviant Art. That i know, might look like a bad move, but i still don't regret it, even tho i miss some of my uni friends.
Started doing as many commisions as i could, but since i'm still not good, i didn't get much money, so i cut my hair shorts ( they say hair is the first step for a woman to change) and started doing other jobs, i've been cleaning up houses, baby sitting, doing the waitress, the bar tender - i sucked at this, tbh- and last but not the least, the call center operator, which is what i'm still doing.
Now, being a comic book artist is still my dream, but i'm just looking for alternative ways to get there, meanwhile my family's finances are getting better, i'm drawing and painting everytime i've got time, which i sometimes crave for days, and get very emotional when it comes to teaching how to draw stuff to my 3 years old nephew, and ... as you can see i figured out a way to be back on here as well ... i got an internet connection.
Now it just feels like this is my old tumblr blog where i used to write a shitload of useless stuff just for the sake of talking about myself, what a despicable human being am i? lol i'm not gonna do this again, don't worry.